Cheap Love

     "Come over?"

          "What for?"

     "Just, can you come over please?"

          "What for?!"

     "I'm lonely. I need someone to hold me."

Someone... Like it could be anyone.
She probably checked off a list of boys till my name was next.

There was nothing wrong with her but I'm the jealous type and I didn't appreciate myself being part of a list.

          "I'm busy, we'll get dinner tomorrow okay?"

     "I hate you."

Click.

That pissed me off. She loved me enough to call me off a list but hated me when I denied her. Fuck that. I hoped the next guy on the list blew her off too. But I knew he wouldn't. Most guys jump at the chance of intimacy. I'm not most guys. That shit is cheap "love".

-

     "Hey, are we still having dinner?"

          "Yea, I'll pick you up at six."

     "Okay! See you!"

There was a sting of hypocrisy and I hated myself for it. But I did offer her dinner as consolation and I'm a man of my word. I pride myself in keeping it no matter how much hit my pride took.

I arrived at her place exactly at six.

     "Hey, I'm here."

           "Okay! Sorry give me a minute!"

She took eight minutes.

     "Hi! Missed you! I'm starving."

She smelled like flowers and looked just as pretty. I forgot that she had kept me waiting. Call me vain but I love being around beautiful women. I get high off the jealous glances of other men. We sit down at D'Angelos, a small italian restaurant in the heart of Koreatown.

     "So, tell me about your day."

That usually got her talking. She told me about the fat co-worker stuffing her face again. Then complained some more about having too much to do at work. She blabbered the same mundane parts of her life as she did last week at dinner. I made some crude joke and she laughed like it was the funniest thing she'd heard. Frankly, its always the same joke.

She made me feel lonely. They all made me feel lonely. I didn't have much choice though because without her, I would really be alone. Cheap love I guess has its value.

I dropped her off and hugged her good night. She smelled like flowers but I wished it was someone else in my arms.

SS